Jessie J: 'Should I have lied and said I am bi?'

Price Tag responds to criticism about describing bisexuality as 'a phase' and says she wants 'to find myself a husband'

• Jessie J says her bisexuality was a phase. What a shame – Comment

 

Jessie J: 'I am only singing about loving a man and being broken hearted by a man. Because I only date men.' Photograph: Dominic Lipinski/PA

Jessie J has responded to criticism on Tuesday, following comments that her bisexuality "was a phase". "Please tell me what I have done wrong here?" she complained on Twitter. "Should I have lied and said I am bi?"

In an interview in Tuesday's Mirror, Jessie J said she no longer identifies as bisexual. "I want to stop talking about it completely now and find myself a husband."

Several hours later, the Price Tag singer took to Twitter to offer what she described as the "world's longest Tweet": "The hate on my [comments] is uncalled-for and ridiculous!" she began. "Almost five years ago [I said] … 'I have dated girls and boys.' … Which I had! Am I denying that? No! I was young and I experimented!" She went on to Tweet: "[But] at 26 ... I am only singing about loving a man and being brokenhearted by a man. Because I only date men."

According to this post, Jessie J has only ever dated one woman, but she happened to "fall" for that person around the same time she was asked her first-ever question "about relationships". "I was honest and then BAM it took over, the word bisexual before my name on almost every article," the pop star wrote. "Instantly I was boxed."

Two albums later, Jessie J said she was "increasingly frustrated with still feeling like [my sexuality] was defining me as an artist". "I am evolving into the woman I want to be forever, wanting a husband and kids one day and dreaming up my future just like everyone else," she wrote, "[but people] want me to be someone I'm not."

Although she apologised to anyone "who is offended by me calling dating girls a 'phase'," she said that the experience, for her, was just that. "What else do I call it if I no longer have a want for it anymore?"

She said she's still a champion for LGBT rights. "I did and still do stand for love who you love, whichever gender that is," she wrote. "I will continue to stand for it and just not act on it, because I don't want to."

Jessie J is currently finishing work on her third album.

Jessie J says her bisexuality was a phase. What a shame

Hearts sank when the singer dismissed her brave coming out as something she did when young and naive

'Jessie J’s assertion that she wants to stop talking about it is directed at the media, but the message to young women and men questioning their sexuality is that she’s over it.' Photograph: Anthony Devlin/PA

Pop stars and celebrities can protest against their status as role models as much as they like but it's an unfortunately unavoidable part of being famous. This is why Jessie J stating that her bisexuality was just a phasefeels like such a loss for young gay or questioning people who look up to her.

Ambiguous sexuality has long been a selling point for pop stars, David Bowiebeing the most obvious example. However, Jessie J didn't foster a studied ambiguity about her sexual preferences but instead openly came out as bisexual. I would never deny Jessie J, or anyone else, the right to define themselves, identify with whatever sexuality they want or reject labels altogether. However, since she so publicly and boldly came out as having had relationships with both men and women, it feels all the more disappointing.

To have such a strong, female, bisexual role model speak in a way that clearly distances herself from her bi and gay fans is a big letdown. Jessie J's assertion that she wants to "stop talking about it completely" is directed at a media fond of asking her questions about her sexuality, but however justified her frustration, the message to young women and men questioning their sexuality is that she's over it, she doesn't want it to be a part of her life anymore, it's something that she wants to move away from.

Many people couldn't understand why lesbians were so excited about Ellen Page coming out. "How is this news?" was a fairly common observation. It was news because the lack of female, gay role models for young women is astonishing. I get excited when I see a high-profile gay woman because I see myself in her; being successful, being accepted. Jessie J has described her relationships with women as a phase.

It's an unhelpful term as this is an idea that gay people find themselves constantly battling against. Jessie J doesn't have to be bisexual if she no longer identifies that way. Who are we to dictate her sexuality or make her talk about it at all? But having already entered into a public discussion about it, to dismiss her previous brave coming out as something she did when she was young and naive, just "a part of growing up", is a real shame.

Jessie J remains a fantastic female role model, that hasn't changed. She is a breath of fresh air as a pop star, outspoken, bold and interesting. However, when she says she wants to move on from her declaration, the hearts of all those who saw it as an inspiring, hopeful moment will sink.